Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Anti-Baby Baby Shower

I don't know about you, but I am pretty tired of consistently shelling out money every year to those who procreate. I understand the point of baby showers and how they are to help new parents with the over whelming burden and cost of their spawn. I don't plan on having children and feel I'm paying for everyone else to have children at this point. Isn't a baby enough of a prize for having sex?

Which brings me to my point.  I've been thinking of having the Anti-baby Baby Shower. People should pay me not to procreate. Think about it, you're thanking me for not adding to the overpopulation of the planet, not wasting of any more natural resources, a chance for your kid to succeed (let's face it my kid would kick your kid's butt) and the list goes on.

Things on my gift registry would be, but not restricted to:

fine china

expensive and breakable art

glass coffee tables

firearms

firecrackers

power tools

contraceptives

noisemakers

Let me know if you have any other ideas for things to add to the gift registry!

Thanks!


Posted by Constantly Constance at 7:02 PM
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2 comments:

  1. Kim WedlockJuly 15, 2012 at 2:00 AM

    This is great. I totally agree with you. My sister had a baby but never had a baby shower - of course she gets my dad to buy her everything she wants/needs anyway since she never learnt to grow up.

    I'd make sure to add furniture with sharp corners, and perhaps artsy legs - thin ones that require the perfect balance to stay standing. Oh and lots of antique vases. And perhaps a jack-in-the-box. I always hated those as a kid.

    Also your blog design is lush! ♥

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  2. Constantly ConstanceJuly 15, 2012 at 7:21 AM

    Hahaha! I know how that goes. I love the gift ideas! I know most parents complain about the popcorn popper/vacuum toy that kids love pushing around when they first start learning to walk. Music that isn't nursery rhymes or in a kids voice might also be a good one to add.

    Thanks for the blog compliment as well! ;) I keep plugging away at it as I'm sure you love to do on yours!

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